the giirl 2he once wa2
by MystDreamer
Summary: Sollux remembers what Aradia used to be and laments what she is now.


- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] -

TA: aa.

TA: are you there?

AA: yes

TA: oh ok ju2t wanted to know.

AA: i find it hard t0 believe

AA: that y0u w0uld c0ntact me ab0ut my presence

AA: since we are in the very same r00m

TA: ...

AA: …

AA: is there any p0int in this conversation?

TA: maybe there ii2nt.

TA: iit2 not liike you are bu2y or anythiing.

TA: or maybe you are.

AA: are y0u trying t0 say s0mething

TA: nevermiind thii2 wa2 a dumb iidea iill 2top botheriing you now.

- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] -

It really hadn't been a very bright idea from the start. But it was not like you could help it. Even if it you never accomplished anything with these short dialogues, it was always worth a try. Always worth making a fool out of yourself just to try and get something from her. Something that would remind you of the troll she used to be. The one you had killed.

Not so long ago, she was always the one who initiated the conversations. As soon as you logged onto your account she would be all over you, telling you about her new archaeological discoveries or the latest adventures with her FLARP companions. Not that these things ever held your interest. The fact that she was the one telling them was what made you listen to them, carefully engraving the details in your memory and trying to picture her expressions as she was typing the stories for your amusement.

Sometimes she would come to your hive and tell you these herself. Or she would ask you to go to hers and you, although not particularly enjoying any form of contact with the environment outside, would go as an obedient pet would. She may have never noticed, but the things you did for her you never did for anyone else. Not even after her death.

As a ghost she had been nothing but a shadow. As you did what she said and settled the game for your group of friends to play you tried not to think of the troll at the other end of the conversation as the friend you used to know. And it wasn't hard. She wasn't Aradia. She couldn't be. There was no hint of excitement nor joy in her words, like there used to be. She never was the first to initiate conversations. At least not the ones for the sake of enjoying each other's company. If she wanted something from you she would never hesitate to ask. And even though you couldn't see her as Aradia anymore you would still attend to her every request.

You thought it couldn't possibly get worse than this. But you were wrong.

If someone were to ask you what was the worst thing that had happened to Aradia they would be surprised for your answer. Probably because of your selfishness.

"That damn stupid robot" would be your answer. And no one would understand, because Aradia was a good person – at least she used to be; not now, now she isn't anything – and deserved to have a body. But that body came with a price.

Nothing unexpected, really. At least if you lived in a fairy tail world. Because it makes sense for the poor rust-blooded princess to fall in love with the brave and intelligent blue-blooded prince who kissed her and brought her back to "life". But for you it didn't make sense. A metal body couldn't make you have feelings. Feelings for someone who you had never payed any attention to and that didn't really deserved them. Because he wasn't the one who had always been there for her whenever the voices got too loud or the apocalypse visions got too messy. He couldn't relate to that because he couldn't possibly know how it was to experience such anguish. He also didn't know all the details about that stupid boring frog temple. Or the roleplaying scenarios she had enjoyed the most. And that was probably why you despised that new Aradia so much. Even though everyone else seemed thrilled to see her in her new body.

But you could never be happy for that. You would preferred she had stayed dead rather than becoming what she was now. Or what she wasn't. And that wasn't the Aradia Megido you once knew and loved. Even though she tried to be her. And everyone else pretended to believe she actually was.


End file.
